February 26th

So, another cycle cancelled mid cycle!  Yesterday was my 1st blood and ultrasound for this cycle and they found only 1 decent sized follie (16mm) on the L and another smaller one at about 12 mm. On the R side there wasn't anything measurable except a BIG ole cyst!!!  I was nervous all day for the office to call thinking they were gonna cancel my cycle just for the cyst alone since it was sizeable.  When Donna called they decided to cancel my cycle, not because of the cyst but because my blood work and hormone levels showed I already ovulated!!! WTF??  I already ovulated and it was only day 12???  So, my post IUI follow up is with Dr P on March 11th and we are moving onto injectibles for this next cycle.  I have had the suspicion that since we started this journey that it wasn't going to happen until we got at least to the injectible stage since NOTHING happens that easily for me..truth be told!  I didn't cry, I am just feeling a bit broken right now!  Onto cycle #5!!!

February 24th

Today is my birthday and I can think of no better gift that blood and u/s #1 of this cycle.  This is my last clomid/IUI cycle, which I am hoping will go by pretty fast!  I have thought in the back of my head since the beginning that it wouldn't happen on clomid and not happen until we get to the injectibles stage.  Just a gut feeling I have...although my other gut fear is that I will get preg this cycle and then miscarry and have to wait a few cycles to move onto injectibles!!  Yikes!  I am trying to stay positive, as my L ovary was trying to kick it's way out earlier today! Hoping for my b2b IUI's Fri and Sat or Sat and Sun?  Here's to cycle #3!!!

February 15th

So, Lizzie has made her monthly arrival as usual which means I can start Clomid tomorrow for try #3. I am hoping to make the month go by quickly so we can move onto injectibles and put these last few cycles behind us. Lizzie has chilled out ALOT since they took the polyp out..no more super bad cramps and I'm staying in only 1 pair of undies a day which is a feat for those of you who know me lately. Only a few more tries to get a baby in for 2009...here's to another good cycle and a hopefully successful one!

February 10th

So it's official..cycle #2 is also a bust! They can't say why things aren't working but truth be told they just aren't! I feel like my heart is just dead..although I don't think I can stand to take a break even though that is what my brain needs. OMG..the sress of this whole ordeal is gonna kill me! I hate today..I hate having to call and refill my meds with the fertility pharmacy!

Today sucks ass!!!!

February 5th

So, I am having "one of those days" today..my lower back hurts, I have cramps, and I am sure that Lizzie is right around the corner. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin and I hope that if she plans on arriving iit is before my beta on Tuesday, I hate the phone call of "sorry this wasn't your month" and would rather avoid it! Grrrrrrr! I just want to be a Mom, is that too much to ask??????????